the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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