just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
