I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
