Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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