PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
