if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
