Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i believe in u and ur pee
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
