I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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