its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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