Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
