you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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