oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
