you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize