It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
