haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Quick, to the slutcave!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
