my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
