Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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