i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
