Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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