you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize