dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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