I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
