dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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