Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
