Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
