just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
