you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
