she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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