pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The air was thick with penises
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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