If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
