drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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