Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
