i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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