So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
