Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
