You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
