My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How does it feel to date your dad?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
