I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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