genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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