apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
