No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
