some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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