We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i've created a new STD.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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