love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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