Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
