DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
