one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
