Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
