take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
