Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
