I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
