Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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