yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
