i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
