yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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