I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
this is an emotional support booty call
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
