I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
