Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize