my mouth tastes like poor choices
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
