Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
