the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
