would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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